"you know you're in love when you can't sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."
-- dr. seuss
thanks dr. seuss, so it's not the lack of coffee in my summer days. I think it's weird..love. love is weird. there are so many types of just this one word. you can love someone one way, another person another way, yourself not at all, and your bed sheets too much. I tell people I love them all the time, and I most of the time mean it. or maybe it's just at that moment..unless of course I say "all the time!!" but I don't love anyone all the time. I am insanely moody, so there is no way I can love somebody all the time. for instance, if that person put a bird in the back seat of my car...right? right. but then it gets me to thinking: who decides love? it can't be an outsider..so much changes when nobody is looking. can it be the ones in love? how do they know? they say love can't change..that it's lasting. nothing is lasting, but some would argue that nothing lasts against love. after time and distance, maybe love isn't actually anything more than impulse and immaturity.
I confused something for love once before. it was once I realized I could push it under the rug I realized the absence of reality entirely. what's love to me? love is powerful. it can make me say the most ridiculous words and do the most ridiculous things and want the most ridiculous experiences. except love should be realistic. it should not push out what naturally makes you happy, it should make you happier. it should also make you angry, because in reality, life is far from perfect. I will say this: there are degrees of love. degrees of the types of love. so when people say they want to find love..maybe they should be more specific...because if it's the types of love I got lucky with, they'll realize the journey is what they least expect. and it can be found by not searching. trust me on that.
