it won't be my tears tonight

" 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. "

-- alfred lord tennyson

is that true? I don't know. I can say love is the most exhilarating feeling to experience, but the comeback is the worst possible turmoil somebody can go through. even imagining it makes me a tad bit paranoid. does that make me pathetic? whatever. I don't care if it does. love is powerful. it's the only thing I know that can change people permanently. look throughout history, like my friend vicki has said, people have done crazy things for love. but what about those people who never get married, never commit, never get hurt? who is to say they aren't better off in the long run? they're untainted, "independent", and able to be however they want to be. they live for themselves. or so we think. grass is greener on the other side, huh? not necessarily for me (yet) but maybe. eventually. maybe not. people say they don't have regrets, I disagree. everybody regrets. whether good or bad came out of it much later on, you had to have regretted it before then.

I smile when I see couples. seeing people flirt and play genuinely adds a bounce in my step. I mean I obviously hate it when people play tongue wars while I'm sitting on the next bench eating my ice cream, but I think you know the difference when I say I like little displays of affection. even if everyone gets that type, like holding hands or when a guy pulls a girl in closer while they stand in line at the movies. what can I say? love and happiness for me usually go hand in hand at the end of the day. and I hope someday you can say the same.

ever heard of it?

" ambiguity offers beauty. "

-- abhi ramesh

what a wise man he is. I agree. see that? I agree! that's not the point is it? no, it's not. now, why do I agree? because mystery is attractive. it keeps you guessing, keeps things interesting since..you are..interested. now here's the problem: what if you want to know? what if you need to know what it is that captivates you? then that's when you pay super close attention, then end up valuating yourself. or you could just drop it and realize that, no matter what, you'll never know why something appeals to you especially if that something is someone.there could be qualities that help you see why someone is wonderful, but that doesn't really do it, now does it? just something I've learned in the past year. it's just so beautiful that there can be no right answer sometimes.

who knows where that leads? doesn't that make the risk all the more appealing? why yes, it does. unless you're a pansy. then goodbye. nobody knows where their steps will lead them (in the long run; we all know walking to the bathroom leads you to the bathroom..but do you know it could lead to an epiphany? HA) which is what makes life beautiful. that's right, life is beautiful. so try to stop bitching and appreciate it.

the rest is still unwritten

" distance makes the heart grow fonder. "

-- thomas haynes bayly

agreed. distance makes the little quirks disappear. yeah, there are defects like...adjusting to being solo in your daily life, but I mean, those could be the new quirks, right? out with the old, in with the new. and you should know if you don't already, that there are always going to be quirks. always. no two people mesh without at least 5 things that clash. whether it's the type of toothpaste you use or how serious you are, quirks are quirks. what a weird word. and concept. eh..but what isn't?

this reminds me of wall-e. I loved that movie. I literally cry in every pixar movie. you name it, I cried. although I will admit I never finished cars. wasn't appealing enough but it was probably because I was super tired. pixar movies can be long..or they feel long. but then again so does every single movie. that's why I like tv better.