oh oh oh oh oh oh my god

" things do not change. we change. "

-- thoreau

we, meaning people. it's funny how quickly people can change and how quickly people notice. the people who are changing though, seem to take longer to notice. personally, I find change to be a good thing...change leads to more realizations and knowledge. and this knowledge is extremely subjective, which is why I like it.

this will be an interesting summer. I miss an italian summer.

I'm still not sick of telephone by gaga. is that sad? yeah it is. I just like to keep songs on repeat for days and assume that everyone likes it, which explains why people never let me drive anymore. or I'm just a terrible driver.

.....it's okay, I'm a female. I know I shouldn't like woman jokes, but they're really funny. there's this one family guy episode where he keeps telling woman jokes, and eventually tells one at work and gets in trouble and goes to retreat to understand women. my sister and I love that episode. one thing I like about my sister is how she relates to me on...everything? and if she doesn't, then she at least accepts it. I dunno, I mean her humor is not as much guy humor as mine, but she still laughs her ass off. I like her.

I truly think everyone needs a sister. you can tell which guys don't have sisters right off the bat, except for a small population (who just love their moms a little too much). my brother has 2 annoying, suffocating older sisters and he's an awesome guy (thanks to us) and his good looks would be nothing without us to coach his style. it's weird, the two guys I have dated both have never had a sister. they're both extremely different guys, too. except it's extremely easy to tell that they both do not have a sister, just in different ways. one of them, just does not understand emotions and conflicts between mothers and daughters...the other, just doesn't have obvious ways of showing interest or dealing with conflicts between mothers and daughters. just one example. the fact that they both don't have a sister is probably the only similarity between the two.

early bird gets the worm

"there is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. doubt separates people. it is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. it is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills."

-- buddha

I was much smarter as a child than I am now. well, it depends on what aspect we are talking about. academically? definitely. socially? not much has changed, but the awareness has become more existent. emotionally? absolutely..not.

being a social butterfly, my main priority when I enter a room is to befriend anyone and everyone on a completely personal level. it was until very recently I realized I could develop genuine bonds with people by focusing on friendships. sometimes I think it's the experiences we have alone that bring us towards other people, not necessarily people themselves. maybe a coffee run before a project or a car accident or a television show or a common enemy. each friendship of mine has issues, but has its perks..and those perks involve being able to laugh and bitch for the same amount of time about the same things. it is when I see qualities which lose my trust entirely (which is very difficult to do) that I back away from that friendship..and go back to focusing less on that person and stay on the surface. without those disappointments though, I would not be emotionally aware. remember what I said earlier about taking risks with people? the limits I learned from those risks have tweaked my social skills...making it easier for me to talk to just anybody. except I am pretty positive it'll lead to my downfall someday. we shall see. either way, at this point, I think everybody needs friends for their personality.I need pretty friends who can be bitchy and giving, but also funny. for example, I am quite complex, one person does not do it for me. maybe 6 do, and that is just fine with me. makes for a cheaper birthday dinner, right? haha..not funny..and having friends helps you realize what you want from life in general. even when it comes to the person you want to date or the type of job you'd like to have. don't underestimate the power of people.

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why am I up so early? this just means I get to have coffee extra today. the addiction is awful, I have to have it at least once or I am just...dead. it's okay, I have friends who lessen the guilt because they need it more than I do. of course, it's the ones who don't need it at all who I end up facing at the end of the day. you can make me quit soda, you can make me quit fast food, you can make me a tall hazelnut latte.

just getting started

well, a lot of people have these blogs (including my sister) and I figure I always talk about things and people...I might as well make it useful. is useful the right word?

except this is my take on blogs, so I guess this makes me hypocritical...do people actually give a shit about what I have to say about something? I feel like everyone has an opinion on stuff ranging from types of rompers to the latest news on cnn to how bad the office has become to the various things giada made on food network yesterday. so really, everyone in the world should have a blog, right? besides, my ridiculous add makes it difficult for anyone to actually understand what I'm talking about. hmm maybe I'll just have something to talk about the thing that annoyed me the most each day. no idea. especially because everything and anything annoys me. including my own thoughts.

song I'm obsessed with right now, thanks to abhi: what you need, taio cruz

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yesterday I saw a movie with my lovely better half. it was called "she's out of my league" and it wasn't the best movie. it only just made me realize that every person is insecure. the movie is about this dorky guy who works at the airport who somehow meets a "hot" girl. the "hot" girl thinks he's cute and she's "into" him and hangs out with him and they date. the entire time, the dorky guy (kirk) hears from his friends and family that she is out of his league, so his insecurity drove him into an unfortunate break up...but then the friends realize they were wrong and they end up together all the while giving him a shit load of self esteem.

that got me wondering, how do we decide whether somebody is good enough for another person? I have a friend who is extremely beautiful and hilarious...she is also really smart, but she goes for guys who people deem as "fuck ups" or "useless" because they just happen to be high school drop outs and smoke all day. so maybe on paper, they don't match up..but are we looking at paper? then in that case, does that make everything reverse, and that maybe she could be a bitch..and they could be sweet people, so she's not good enough for any of them? it just amazes me how quickly we can judge that somebody is out of our league.

I really want to know the underlying factors which determine who is better out of a couple, or what makes someone good enough. take me for instance..I'm dating somebody who has won an award for being the most well-rounded person in my class. I'm the farthest thing from well-rounded. I am lazy, not very smart, far too social, and immature a lot of the time. he and I are completely opposite. is that why we're good enough for each other? I know we're great for each other because we are a perfect balance, but does that mean I am up to his caliber as a person? it would just be nice to know what decides those things. otherwise, I find it somewhat ignorant for people to judge relationships. you know someone in a totally different way when you date them. people think I'm a nice, easy going person...when in reality I am a monster. I just hope people know the best time to take risks is with somebody they find out of their own league. I know I'm not a shy person, and some people excuse my insanity as outgoing, but I find that being risky with people is the best way to learn your limits. besides, what do you have to lose? they're just people. who cares if she's the hottest girl in school? maybe you're the funniest boy in school. maybe you have the smallest ego, and that's what she needs. maybe you're rude, and she needs that even more.

I could go on forever about this, couldn't I? hmm. I wish people had less pride sometimes. it's the people without pride who learn the most material not found in text books thus finding out their own caliber as a person. maybe when people say "you could do better" they should really say "you could do differently".